Several years ago, I was helping my mom clear out her garage, when I came across a box of toy soldiers. "Those belong to your brother," Mom said. "They've been in here for years."
I remembered my brother playing with them when we were kids, but that was a long time ago. We were all adults now, with families of our own. Surely he would never miss these items. After all, they'd been sitting at Mom's house forever. If we donated them, a kid could have them and enjoy them. Wouldn't that would be better than for them to sit here unused? With that, I added the box to the big pile of items destined for the local thrift store.
When my brother found out, he was none too pleased. "Those were mine. I still wanted them." He's a mild-mannered sort, but I could tell he was upset, and that those toy soldiers had meant something important to him -- something that I had failed to understand. I felt terrible, and apologized. "Don't worry about it, it can't be helped now," he said. But I still felt bad. I knew I'd made a mistake.
"Well, at least you're not the only one," he said. He then told me how his wife had thrown out a cracker tin that he'd wanted to keep. She hadn't thought it was anything important, but it was a Sky Flakes cracker tin with distinctive red and white stripes, and to my brother, it brought back precious childhood memories of the Philippines, where we grew up.
I came up with an idea. I began scouring the internet for vintage plastic army men. Turns out there are a lot of different kinds. Different eras, different colors, different sizes. I searched until I found the ones I remembered, right down to their distinctive poses. I was surprised that I remembered that much, but when I saw the right ones on eBay, I knew them, and ordered them straight away.
Next, I had to find a Sky Flakes cracker tin. You can still get Sky Flakes crackers, but they don't come in a metal tin any more. The modern ones are plastic, which is nowhere near as cool. I finally managed to find a metal tin on Etsy.
I wrapped each soldier in tissue paper, put them all in the cracker tin, boxed it up and mailed it to my brother. He was delighted when they arrived, and thanked me profusely. His wife texted me and told me he actually *squealed* with joy as soon as he opened the package.
I realize this gesture didn't erase what I'd done, but at least I'd made amends. If it cost me a total of $38 on eBay and Etsy, it was well worth it.
And I'd learned an important lesson. Never, ever tidy other people's belongings without their permission. Something that looks like an ordinary item to you, can have great emotional significance for someone else. Whether they decide to keep it or let it go, that's their decision to make.